SPOOF
Written on 03.45 by Unknown
Nih ada spoofs lagi! Cumaaa disatuin aja ya! Ini saya co-pas dari aljihad99.blogspot.com. Sekali lagi post ini hanya untuk memudahkan pencarian Anda saja.
TREE GORILLA
A man walked into his back yard one morning and found a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon serviceman arrived with a stick, a cihuahua (a rabbit-size breed of dog), a pair of handcuffs, and a shootgun. “now listen carefully,” he told the homeowner.” I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained cihuahua will then go right for his,
uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap on the handcuffs.”
“got it,” the homeowner replied. “But what’s the shootgun for?”
“if I fall out of the tree before the gorilla,” the man said,” shoot the cihuahua.”
sumber: Cn’S English Magazine Vol.2 No.11
APPRENTICE
A prominent lawyer’s son dreamed of following in his father’s footsteps.After graduating from college and law school with honors,he returned home to join his father’s film,intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney. At the end of his father’s office,and said, “father,father the Smith case,which you always said would go on forever–the one you have been toiling on for ten years–in one single day,I settled that case and saved the client a fortune”
His father frowned,and scolded him,” I didn’t say that it WOULD go on forever,son. I said that it COULD go on forever,When you saw me toiling on that case for days and weeks at a time, Didn’t it ever occur to you that I was being paid by the hour?
sumber : Cn’S English magazine vol 8 No.61
NASTY BUG
Every night,Harold would go down to the liquor store,get a six pack,bring it at home and drink it while he watched TV.One night as finished his last beer.the door bell rang.he stumble to the door and found six foot cockroach standing there.The Bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room,and left.
The next night,after he finished his 3th beer,The door bell rang. He Walked slowly to the door ad found the same six foot cockroach standing there.The big bug punched him in the stomach,then left.
The next night,after he finished his 1st beer,the door bell rang again.the same six foot cockroach was standing there. this time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain.Then the big bug left.
The fourth night Harold didn’t drink at all.The doorbell rang.The cockroach was standing there.the bug beat the snot out of Harold and left him in a heap on the living room floor.
The following day, Harold went to see his doctor.He explained events of the preceding four nights.”What can I do? he pleaded.
“not much”the doctors replied. “There’s just a nasty bug going around.”
http://www.funnystory.com
LOST AND NEVER FOUND
My dad is a golf freak. Since he likes to ask me to accompany him playing golf, I’m getting crazy about it, too. Besides playing it, I also like to join golf tourments. in the last tournament i joined, some thing embarssing happened to me.
In the middleof the game, my ball landed in a mud pond. not wanting to give up, I approached the pond and tried to find the ball with my club. After about five minutes. I still couldn’t find my ball, but worse, i couldn’t pull out my club. it seemedto be stuck on something. I waded into the pond and groped around with my hand, trying to find the ball. Then igave up! I got out of the pond and found out that i hadn’t only lost my ball and my club, but also my shoes. I was very embarassed because all the people were watchung.!
Magazine : C’NS
THE TROUBLE MAKER
while visiting a country school, the chairman of the board of education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making the next room.
Angrily, he opened the door ang grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of thetalking. He dragged the boys to the next room and stood him the corner.
A few minutes later , a small boy stuck hi head in the room and pleaded,” Please,sir,may we have our tacher back?”
FEROCIOUS LION
Bert was Tellinh his friend justin about his safari trip in Africa. “….. i came face to face with a ferocious Lion. He was snarling, showing mw his long sharp teeth.he was literally salivating at seeing me. man! I’d never been so scared before.”
” wow! I am glad i wasn’t in your shoes! so what happened next? did you shoot him?”
“No, I didn’t have my gun with me.”
“you didnt?oh man!that was really dumb.”
“Yeah, it was so stupid of me. Anyway,there I stood alone, without a gun. The Lion crept closer and closer and closer… and I …”Bert stooped and heaved a deep sigh. Impatiently, justin cried,”Come on, man! what did you do?
“His pal shrugged his showders and said, “what could I do? I moved on to the next cage.”
Source : C’Ns magazine
OH BOY
My 2-year-old nephew and I were queuing at a cashier in a department store when he tugged at my shirt with awful look on his face.
I asked him what was wrong and he very loudly said,”I think the lady in front of us farted,cause her butt stinks!”Everyone around us heard it.
I was so ashmed. I apologized to everyone,especially to the lady in front of me,and then pretended that I had forgotten something so we could just get uot of there quickly!!!
Sumber:CNS english Magazine vol.4 No.29
BEAUTIFUL ME
i like teasing my sister, one day. when she was busy cramming for exams, i wore my mom’s earinng and put on her lipstick and started to tease my sister, i kept on teasing her until my mom yelled at me “Catur, leave your sister alone! you’d better go to the gas station to fill the tank of your dad’s motorcycle”
so off i went to the gas station . strangely, the people there were friendler than they usually are. they all smiled at me some of them laughed together.
on my way home, i saw my sister so asked her, “hey sis is there something wrong with me.?
it seems that everyone is so friendly and today. they all smiled and laughed at the gas station ”
my sister, suddenly burst out laughing and said “of course they were . you’re still wearing mom’s lipstick and earings”
“what?? Gosh!” i rode home in a hurry.
Source : Magazine Cool n Smart
BEST IN THE LAND
A group of hikers are led through the US wilderness by a guide . on the third day, the hikers notice that they have been traveling in circles.
“we’re lost” one of the men complaints .
“i thought you said you were the best guide in the United States.”
“I am” the guide answer,
“but i think we may have wandered into Canada”
HUMAN BOWLING BALL
My schoolmates and i went alley. This was the first time i went bowling, so i tried several different techniques. One of them was running into the lane, which seemed to work for me. I used the techniques several times and i got good score. But i what didn’t realize was that at a certain poin the lane was very slippery because the floor was greased to help the ball go down the lane. I ran past the poin and ended up falling on my butt. Both my feet flew from under me and i slid halfway along the lane.
Source: CNS Magazine
Investigating a Terrible Accident
In a terrible accident there were no survivor except a monkey.Since there were no witnesses,the police could not determine. A last,they turned the monkey.Because the monkey seemed able to respond with gestures,the police officer decidedto interrogate.it
“what were the people doing on the bus?”
The monkey shakes his head in a disapproving manner and a starts dancing around, meaning a people were dancing and having fun”OK, but what else were they doing?”
The monkey take his hand to his mouth as if holding a bottle. “Oh! they were drinking, Huh?! OK, were they doing anything else?”
The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, mimicking singing.
The chief loses his patience, “if they were having such a great time, who was driving the bus then?”
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